Rachel Rose Alexandria
I am a recovering “Good Girl.”
I know what it’s like to feel stuck in the Good Girl trap. I thought I was pretty healthy and put together – really most of my life seemed like it was going great. I had a house, a husband, a career I loved, great friends and pretty good health. And at the same time, I felt limited. I avoided conflict at all costs, and I convinced myself that my needs were only my own problem; I shouldn’t bother anyone else with them.
Wow, did THAT not work!
Now I’m dedicated to teaching women how to deal with conflict in powerful and compassionate ways.
Hey there, I’m Rachel Alexandria.
I am a licensed psychotherapist, as well as an author, healer and coach. I earned my Masters in Applied Behavioral Science from the Leadership Institute of Seattle (LIOS) at Bastyr University. I also have a Master of Fine Arts in Poetry from the University of Florida, and a BA from the University of Washington. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC in Washington state). I am also a Certified Systemic Constellations Facilitator.
Read on to find out what happened when I tried to live a conflict-free life by never upsetting anyone and being as agreeable as possible…
My close relationships crumbled.
A great friendship imploded, and my marriage followed suit within a year. When I went looking for what part I played in the trouble, I saw that I’d been holding my real feelings and needs back. I hadn’t been speaking up when things weren’t okay. I’d been stuffing my resentment, or even trying to “sort it out on my own.”
Working it out on my own didn’t work.
I suddenly realized that my attachment to being a Good Girl – the sort of woman who would never upset a friend or her husband – was toxic to my relationships. I read all I could get my hands on about this issue and went through some intensive personal healing around it. Now, I’m able to step confidently into situations of conflict, as well as express all my needs with great compassion…in any circumstance.
I discovered I wasn’t alone.
I realized that Good Girl behavior is epidemic, among my clients AND the greater populations of women I see everywhere. I’m so grateful for my own awakening because now I can help other women wake up to how they’ve been repressing themselves and their true, deep yearnings. I created a sure-fire method to dealing confidently with conflict, and I train my client in it, along with helping them heal the shame, anger, and fear they’ve been carrying. My primary counseling method is Internal Family Systems (IFS), which is a way of shifting stuck patterns and subconscious self-sabotage. In other words, I help women actually DO what they know is healthiest for themselves.
Six Ways Women Avoid Conflict and One Way to Live Drama-Free
Every woman wants to be well-liked, but in trying to please everyone and prevent hurt feelings, we often end up creating the very drama we were seeking to avoid. This book is for women who are ready to disarm their triggers around conflict and step fully into their personal and professional leadership. Psychotherapist Rachel Alexandria guides readers to free themselves of resentments and bring their clear desires into the light.
I absolutely love my work.
My philosophy is best described in the Ram Dass quote, “We are all just walking each other home.” My clients often comment on feeling safe with me. They appreciate that I don’t ever judge them or put myself “one above” them.
I figure that it’s taken a village to teach me what I know now; what I do is pass along this wisdom and the energy of loving kindness that has been gifted to me. It means more than I can say that I get to help wonderful people toward a deeper sense of themselves – to give them the gift of more presence, self-love, and belonging in the world.